POST #2

hello humans! how are you? my last post was about a couple of weeks ago, i think. so, i guess its time for an update.

before anything else: SALAM RAMADHAN TO EVERY MUSLIM READING THIS POST. MAY YOU BE BLESSED BY THE ALMIGHTY AND MAY YOU HAVE A PROSPEROUS MONTH OF FASTING!

so, as many of you might know, ive been infected by a flu for about a couple of weeks now & it has yet to be cured but i am trying my best to get myself to a healthy state like was before. ramadhan is here & Alhamdulillah, ive been fasting since day one & im glad that ive made it this far.

before ramadhan though, some of my friends, specifically my girl friends actually kidnapped me into a lunch day out. why would i classify this experience as being kidnapped? because i didnt even know where we were going and i dont have any single idea what was going out. i thought we were going out to eat some italian food. indeed we did but, little did i know, we were having italian at one of my friends' house. but oh well, im just happy that we did have an excellent time together.

i had an interesting first week of ramadhan because i went to three pasar ramadahans and i am happy! i went to the ones in belait, tutong and bandar. i must say that i am just happy to be experiencing every single moment. you know how hungry one might be while fasting for more than 12 hours and i couldnt help but drool.

my latest encounter, yesterday. have you ever watched masterchef malaysia? well, i was lucky enough as i am crowning myself the first person to be next to one of the contestants; nik michael. i met him yesterday in kfc near e-mart. i must say, the tamu there is also the same as it is in brunei. so, nik was at the counter next to me and i was waiting for my cheesy wedges, which honestly is the bomb! and i was next to nik. isnt that crazy? I WAS NEXT TO NIK! i never thought he would be in miri. and so, i tweeted him and he replied. a single 'hi' but well, its quite sufficient to me. at least he acknowledges my existance and knows that this boy from brunei exists.

so thats it for today folks. thanks for reading. i will be blogging more soon.

you have come to the conclusion of this

POST #1

hello world. this is me. i know it might be surprising because ive been away for quite some time. if youre THAT observant, you might notice that my last post was posted on the 22nd may of last year and that my friends, is way WAY too long.

anyways, i am happy to announce that i am making a comeback in the blogger community, updating everyone with bits and pieces of the happenings in my life.

as suggested by the title, this is my first post after about more than a year of hiatus. this is basically not my first post in this blog but it is the first after so long.

i know it might be too late to greet everyone a happy new year or a welcoming greet to the month of july so instead, its best for me to say:

welcome back to zulhilar.blogspot.com; a new year, a new month marked with a new post.

p/s: this might be one of the shortest of all posts that has ever been posted here but, note that there will be more coming sooner than expected.

you have come to the conclusion of this post. you may proceed with what your doing now.

confide in me.

life is known to be full of unexpected events. they challenge the mind, occurring unexpectedly in an unknown rate, coming to you like bullets. one by one penetrating through you.

will it hurt? yes.
will you go through it alone? yes.
will there be more coming in your way? definitely.

no matter who you are, what you are able to do and how people treat you, these events never make exceptions. life is fair, life is wise they say and i absolutely second that.

there will be a time in your life where you just dont know what to do as you go through these events. you dont know who to talk to, you dont know who to rely on and you dont know who to trust. sometimes, this results in you, keeping it away from everyone, thinking maybe you could slip through the cracks and make your sadness and pain seem unnoticeable.

but, at some point the truth will be spilled in a very embarrassing manner, sometimes from an unexpected individual. in confidential nor in public, the impact will still be the same, things get messy, you feel humiliated and you lose your self control.

but know that, things will patch up and get repaired. you will gain back your self confidence and if you're lucky, your doubts will be answered. you will know who to rely on, to trust and to talk to.

concluding with a piece of advice, all you need is a dose of tranquility, a whole load of patience and a chunk of commitment.

confessions.

the world is a very bad place they say. i'd second that.

i've just realized something very mind boggling. everything seems to be out of place and i think its best for me to express it through blog.

as you all may know from the past posts ive posted here, i've faced lots of problems that are somehow the same. but do note that every problem feels slightly different as you experience them in various ways.

as i went through these problems, i can say that people are unpredictable. you cannot predict their feelings towards your actions or their abilities and capabilities. all you can do is sit down and enjoy the show. some might hate you for being yourself or just hate the fact that you are yourself. some might be okay with who you are.

honestly speaking, i can say that its easy to find friends but its finding the real ones thats difficult. it is a journey everyone has to take part in. there might be war during the journey but happiness awaits. but do know that it is a never ending journey which makes it quite a pain in the ass and that the scars you have from the wars of the journey is beyond repairable. they will be part of your memory in which you will never forget.

so how heartless can someone be? very. people can feed you a poison apple quietly in this world without you even knowing it. so expect nothing.

to conclude, everyone is a judge in this world. some might have good comments towards you and some might not. so all you have to do is just be yourself and grow skin so thick that not even a razor blade can cut it and make it bleed. always go through life with courage even if the only person left that you could depend on is yourself.

these are my confessions and i hope to learn from them.

a holiday under the sun

the holidays are about to end and i am now spending my time here somewhere safe. its the 9th day of the 1st term holidays and so far, i enjoyed myself.

so, i spent my holidays doing things, studying, watching movies, etc. etc. i am very private with how i spend my holidays and as usual thats the only detail that im gonna give, ever.

so that's it. this is probably one of the shortest posts that ive ever posted but well, better something than nothing right?

welcoming 2012

i know that its been a while since i haven't blogged. i figured that i needed some rest from blogging, as if its needed. anyways, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

welcome 2012! welcome new hopes, dreams & opportunities! and welcome senior year!

yes i am now a year 11 student which means i am a senior at school. its obvious that the seniors are the ones who'll sit for the o'level exams at the end of the year which will be between october & november. very nerve wrecking but ive been through & sacrificed a lot to be here. it would be worthless and foolish to give it all up and back down.

ive got a lot to do this year obviously. we got extra classes 5 days a week, sometimes 6. they told us that there'll be friday classes for us to attend where we would study. well, thats that. everything will sound simple in words but will be complicated in reality. and since we move around a lot from class to class for other lessons in the morning, it gives us the additional dose of tiredness. isnt school 'fun'?

ive learnt a lot these past couple of months, life-wise that is.

ive learnt to not rely on one person and expect so much from them . they might disappoint you in the end.

ive learnt to not whine and complain. its better to except the fact and move on.

ive learnt to not regret making mistakes. learn from them and be proud that you made one since there is always a reason for something to happen.

ive learnt that its better to keep things to yourself. people just cant always deal with you and your problems. they get bored.

to conclude,

ive learnt that if your friends aren't supportive of what you do, find new ones who'd believe and support you no matter what you do.

P/S: to those who didnt succeed in their o'levels last year, never give up! everything happens for a reason.

its the holi-holidays!

F.R.E.E.D.O.M.

freedom. 7 letters. independent, strong, priceless. freedom.

what a bad weather we're having now. quite a scene outside my house. the rain drizzled continuously. the flash of lighting and the thud of the thunder completed the painting of this scenery. 

but still, it doesnt affect any degree of freedom i have now that the exams are done.

i officially am on holiday last week. im not sure when but the point is, it started last week. staying and resting at home is fun and relaxing, at times.

its been a while since i havent seen my friends. probably about a week  or so. looking forward to meet them soon if we get the chance.

since my holiday has just started, it had been fun so far. i am looking forward for some more fun and laughs ahead of me as i take a journey upon my holiday days.

the pain the money, the luxury, the rich had brought

as we all know, money is such a powerful word and is a powerful object. everybody also knows that money brings luxury and luxury brings joy. thats the main reason why people work for money, why people sacrifice for money and why people would kill for money. it brings happiness. 

for some, it is the way of getting money that brings difficulty to the matter while some find it easy for it is presented to them on a silver platter. since then, the idealism where money indicates social rankings of people emerge which therefore conclude with putting people into groups; the rich, the moderate, the poor.

i came up with a theory days ago which emphasizes the ugly truth of our life.

when the rich buys luxury, the moderate watched them from below while the poor cries in tears of despair thinking how lucky the rich are.

for me, further explanation of that theory isnt needed for it is simple, it is short and it is the truth.

but life is like a cycle. who knows, maybe one day people of the moderate and poor would be in the same position as the rich, but everything happens for a reason.

but it doesnt matter which level you come from. as long as you are happy, healthy and know your roots, then nothing will do you wrong. thats why it is easier for you to except who you are and be good to others then to try and be like everybody else. 

keep an eye on 'em. they're filthy rich!

in a clan, there will always be this person who would make you feel like you dont belong. these people would do anything, ANYTHING just to make you feel that way. they would say bad things about you infront of you or even painful, behind your back. they would might not particularly hate you but, point out your mistakes. they are what i called the 'judges' in my previous post.

some of you might think, 'what point is he trying to make here?' or even 'why is he posting this?'. well, clearly:

1) I AM A VICTIM

2) ITS MY BLOG

its very clear now that i have been surrounded by negative vibes that clearly messes up my system to study at school. whether they're inside OR outside my school, the effects of this matter still is the same- they go hand in hand.

some people who you call friends today, might hate you or say bad things about you or even worst, say things behind your back tomorrow. so brace your selves humans and prepare for tomorrow, learn to let go & most importantly, forgive but NEVER forget. 

so let the judges 'deliberate'.

raya for this year is about to end and obviously, everyone has had their shares of apologies. but mine is different, in a way. what shares did i get for raya? apologies & betrayal. yes. betrayal. the eight lettered word that haunts everyone out there.

who doesnt fear of getting betrayed? surely everyone agrees that being fearless about getting betrayed is such an impossible task to accomplish. ironically, its something that people of our surroundings or ourselves feel everyday but, when it happens to you, it feels like its your first time feeling the pain and despair.

but, a little plate of betrayal isnt served directly to your dinner table without the company of another side dish. and that my fellow friends, is judgement. that feeling when you feel like every single moment, every single mistake that you did is being judged heavily by the people who do so.

how could you live with this kind of environment? how could you live life having your mistakes & actions judged unmercifully?

for those of you who says that i am posting this post just so that i could get some attention then, yes. maybe i am. and for those of you who doesnt, then thank you and truthfully, no. i am not. it is up to you to believe which one is a lie and which one is the truth that lies beneath the sea of lies.

thank you for reading anyways, and for those of you who might be offended by this post. why so? post a comment on my shoutbox, or even tweet me, i dont know. selamat hari raya aidilfitri maaf zahir batin :)

back in town

after about 6 months without updates, im back! what a relief. i dont know why but suddenly, the urge to blog about some stuffs hit me. anyways, if youre here to like, read it sincerely- thank you. but if youre here just to make fun of me in any ways- close the tab or go to somewhere else where the admin doesnt give a crap. -- you mad? stay mad!

okay, so as a muslim, we're now having our 13th day of fasting. i would like to wish everyone a pleasant fasting month. and yeah, thats all that i will say on that.

moved to smpap for like 6 months ago?, i think. about approximately 6 months or more than that. i cant recall. anyways, it was fun here and made some new friends, as usual. there were some ups and downs but well, thats life. its like a roller-coaster that you just gotta ride.

to my st margaret's friends out there, i wish you guys the best of luck to succeed with excellence and to take the chance to learn things and lessons that i did or did not get to learn. i miss you guys so much.

anyhow, that all from me. will update at a later time when i find a certain time to do so.

nobody has to know

hello :)

its a sunday morning today and its gonna be great indeed. i havent had my breakfast yet but i will be soon.

this week had been so tough. exams are here and there and we got a reunion for all students of 2009 at my ugama school.

the exams are well, okay. i cant say its easy and i cant say its hard. ill just pray so ill get satisfying marks.

the ugama school reunion was okay. met zhafri that day. i was stunned to see him since i havent seen him for a very long time. it was fun. we went through briefings and photo shoots. next week we are going to have a rehearsal (monday) for tuesday's occasion which is when the ex-principal of our school will hand our certificates for our SSRU which we took last week.

im gonna update next week for more updates.

a perfect picture crushed

hello :)

we had our teachers' day celebration yesterday at school and we were one of the performers participating in that very day. i couldve been more excited. it had been a wholesome of experience since we did a lot of practices and weve been working so hard for this to happen.

the morning starts with a regular day in school where we meet our friends and hang out but things tend to change when teachers starts to arrive with the wonderful saris. the bravest teacher would be mr. justin george. he wore a white kilt and a blue shirt with dress shoes. it was my favorite look of the day since i find it interesting and eccentric and out of the box. it is also a getaway of experiencing different cultures that our teachers hold on to.

the class party was awesome since the teahers and some students came and visited a classroom. one after another serving varieties of food, drinks and delicacies. it was a hell of a party and i cant admit that i was very excited to be part of a party host of a class party. thank God that the class didnt turn into a mess.

the performance was quite fine and fun. i had an ample of fun with the performers and the audience as well. theres just a few parts where i was discriminated and was called names. but i guess its okay. i mean there has to be someone who dislikes and doesnt support on what you do right? so yeah.

in the end everyone had a great time and it is worth enjoying and watching. it is a very memorable day since everyone was looking forward to it. i cant wait for a similar event such as this in the future which would be parents' day. who knows what might've happen during that day.

waiting and here it is

RAYA is over now and i kinda miss it.

anyways, raya this year had been fun from the beginning till the end. its very fun and adventurous since we went to a lot of houses more than we did before.

at times, we would totally not go raya since some peoples are coming over and i miss the chaos of hosting an open house for all our neighbors.

we visited a lot of houses and some of them are eccentric and some are quite exquisite and delightful. some of them are quite inspiring with floral themes and colorful wallpapers.

it has been a wholesome of experience and i cant wait for next year's raya and i hope itll be more fun and adventurous than this year :)

hello again!

well, our wireless didnt work last night so i made something with photoscape last night :)

gaga made that 'touch' haha

me with nyonyah aiman haha

this is my most favorite one. heee

okay bye guys :)

a trip of a lifetime

hello :)

as you guys know, me and my fellow cooleo best buds were among the students choosed to participate in a fieldtrip to the majlis ilmu held at icc this wednesday. mizan, deejah and aiman made my day totally and i dont regret having you guys there with me. anyways, let the pictures do all the talking.

offcourse a day out with the buds would be completed without a photo with deejah

my favorite photo taken. haha with mizan and his carpet-soft head. haha awww

too bad i didnt take a photo with aiman. sorry aiman. hehe and bye guys :)

have faith, give love and bring peace

photo from http://simplynorule.tumblr.com/

hello!

thats just some random quote i made up as my new post's tittle. and yes it sounds a little hippie-ish. but wth would care? after all i am the author of this blog. haha get over the fact. apakan

anyways, school reopened and our test paper is passed back to us. my result, not that satisfying. i failed my maths, amaths, chemistry and physics. thats like half of the subjects that i took. my dad took my report card this morning and my teacher said that i wasnt concentrating much at school. GAAH!

enough of those negative vibes. i need to improve. seriously. i passed only my bio for the science subjects which is not good. i gotta atleast pass my dmaths, physics and chemistry so that i could show that i could survive.

and, i sure hope that me and my family will have a great time together this weekend.

goodbye people.

living with it and loving it

hello :)

finally i get to update my blog. i havent updated it since my mid year exams started and yes, some were okay and some were somehow at an average level. anyways lets skip this part since im here to update my blog about some kinds of things which are hugely different from my mid year exams.

i want all of you readers to know that you cant judge a person or know a person just by a conversation. in some cases you may but in a lot of cases you cant. you have to know that person well to judge them. i experienced this particular case myself. and now that person is the person that i would rely on what ever my situation is.

anyways i have to end this post now. i will return back for another and i wish you guys a life of prosperity

its freaking open

now my blog is officially opened and now holidays are here :) ahehe

there comes a time

hello!

officially, my blog is closed for a short while since im studying for my mid year exams for the next 2 weeks. i will be opening this blog soon and updating it as soon as my exams are finished.