confide in me.

life is known to be full of unexpected events. they challenge the mind, occurring unexpectedly in an unknown rate, coming to you like bullets. one by one penetrating through you.

will it hurt? yes.
will you go through it alone? yes.
will there be more coming in your way? definitely.

no matter who you are, what you are able to do and how people treat you, these events never make exceptions. life is fair, life is wise they say and i absolutely second that.

there will be a time in your life where you just dont know what to do as you go through these events. you dont know who to talk to, you dont know who to rely on and you dont know who to trust. sometimes, this results in you, keeping it away from everyone, thinking maybe you could slip through the cracks and make your sadness and pain seem unnoticeable.

but, at some point the truth will be spilled in a very embarrassing manner, sometimes from an unexpected individual. in confidential nor in public, the impact will still be the same, things get messy, you feel humiliated and you lose your self control.

but know that, things will patch up and get repaired. you will gain back your self confidence and if you're lucky, your doubts will be answered. you will know who to rely on, to trust and to talk to.

concluding with a piece of advice, all you need is a dose of tranquility, a whole load of patience and a chunk of commitment.

confessions.

the world is a very bad place they say. i'd second that.

i've just realized something very mind boggling. everything seems to be out of place and i think its best for me to express it through blog.

as you all may know from the past posts ive posted here, i've faced lots of problems that are somehow the same. but do note that every problem feels slightly different as you experience them in various ways.

as i went through these problems, i can say that people are unpredictable. you cannot predict their feelings towards your actions or their abilities and capabilities. all you can do is sit down and enjoy the show. some might hate you for being yourself or just hate the fact that you are yourself. some might be okay with who you are.

honestly speaking, i can say that its easy to find friends but its finding the real ones thats difficult. it is a journey everyone has to take part in. there might be war during the journey but happiness awaits. but do know that it is a never ending journey which makes it quite a pain in the ass and that the scars you have from the wars of the journey is beyond repairable. they will be part of your memory in which you will never forget.

so how heartless can someone be? very. people can feed you a poison apple quietly in this world without you even knowing it. so expect nothing.

to conclude, everyone is a judge in this world. some might have good comments towards you and some might not. so all you have to do is just be yourself and grow skin so thick that not even a razor blade can cut it and make it bleed. always go through life with courage even if the only person left that you could depend on is yourself.

these are my confessions and i hope to learn from them.

a holiday under the sun

the holidays are about to end and i am now spending my time here somewhere safe. its the 9th day of the 1st term holidays and so far, i enjoyed myself.

so, i spent my holidays doing things, studying, watching movies, etc. etc. i am very private with how i spend my holidays and as usual thats the only detail that im gonna give, ever.

so that's it. this is probably one of the shortest posts that ive ever posted but well, better something than nothing right?

welcoming 2012

i know that its been a while since i haven't blogged. i figured that i needed some rest from blogging, as if its needed. anyways, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

welcome 2012! welcome new hopes, dreams & opportunities! and welcome senior year!

yes i am now a year 11 student which means i am a senior at school. its obvious that the seniors are the ones who'll sit for the o'level exams at the end of the year which will be between october & november. very nerve wrecking but ive been through & sacrificed a lot to be here. it would be worthless and foolish to give it all up and back down.

ive got a lot to do this year obviously. we got extra classes 5 days a week, sometimes 6. they told us that there'll be friday classes for us to attend where we would study. well, thats that. everything will sound simple in words but will be complicated in reality. and since we move around a lot from class to class for other lessons in the morning, it gives us the additional dose of tiredness. isnt school 'fun'?

ive learnt a lot these past couple of months, life-wise that is.

ive learnt to not rely on one person and expect so much from them . they might disappoint you in the end.

ive learnt to not whine and complain. its better to except the fact and move on.

ive learnt to not regret making mistakes. learn from them and be proud that you made one since there is always a reason for something to happen.

ive learnt that its better to keep things to yourself. people just cant always deal with you and your problems. they get bored.

to conclude,

ive learnt that if your friends aren't supportive of what you do, find new ones who'd believe and support you no matter what you do.

P/S: to those who didnt succeed in their o'levels last year, never give up! everything happens for a reason.