living with it and loving it

hello :)

finally i get to update my blog. i havent updated it since my mid year exams started and yes, some were okay and some were somehow at an average level. anyways lets skip this part since im here to update my blog about some kinds of things which are hugely different from my mid year exams.

i want all of you readers to know that you cant judge a person or know a person just by a conversation. in some cases you may but in a lot of cases you cant. you have to know that person well to judge them. i experienced this particular case myself. and now that person is the person that i would rely on what ever my situation is.

anyways i have to end this post now. i will return back for another and i wish you guys a life of prosperity

its freaking open

now my blog is officially opened and now holidays are here :) ahehe

there comes a time

hello!

officially, my blog is closed for a short while since im studying for my mid year exams for the next 2 weeks. i will be opening this blog soon and updating it as soon as my exams are finished.

untie these strings of passion

hello

schools fine and studies are great. my problems had come to an end. i went back to my track of freedom and success. everything is balanced now and i am so happy to be back to the place i sat on before all of these happened.

life has its own ups and downs peoples and yes i mean this. at first i never did believe those kinds of quotes. i thought it was created for people to forget what their problems are. well i am wrong about this, again. everyone makes mistakes and nobody will be as perfect as they want to be.

i dont wanna do this anymore

HELLO!

life is good now. but ive been having problems lately and without me knowing it, im facing a hard phase in my life right now. beyond the smiles that ive put on, beyond the laughter ive been in and beyond the happy feeling that ive been faking, i seriously am not in a fun position now. all i know now is im like this thread and im waiting for someone with the scissor to cut me or save me.

i hate days like this and i dont wanna do this anymore. i dont wanna fight and i dont wanna hurt anyone. i cant do this and i dont wanna do this. i hope that it will stop as i am totally unhappy with these kind of situation

dont kill me

photo courtesy of http://www.simplynorule.tumblr.com/

HELLO!

well my days had gone pretty well nowadays. with friends helping me and my family supporting me. to tell you guys the truth, its not that bad after all. i am one of those people who are scared of changes. i fear that it might ruin everything and change it into something bad. well, the changes in my life now makes me realize that not all changes lead to bad things. moving on is one of them.

with happy and inspirational music, everything goes pretty well and the idea of moving on becomes more solid as your trust and belief that you can do it becomes more solid too. at first i thought its just a myth to make someone feel better. but i tried it and yes, it has earned my confirmation that it works.

and now i would say that i truely know who my real friends are now as it is very obvious on who had been there supporting me and helping me and the ones who doesnt. now i can know who to lean on and who to care for. and the person reading this should feel that theyre one of them if they feel like they are.

p/s: you dont need love to make you feel better because thats what your friends do, to make you feel better about yourself

it will get better through whatever

last week had been a busy and stressful week. nothing really was fine. i had friendship problems. this impacts my whole performance in school was affected by it. i failed every additional mathematics tests and i almost fail the rest. my performance in school was hung by a thread and so does my friendship.

not only my friendship with my friend and my performance in school, but my essay competition was also affected. i am not confident if i would win and if i do win, itll be a miracle because well, i was quite pressured with whatever happened on that day and the day before it. in simple words i was seeking for someone to talk to and this would be my girlfriends and my family. well, theyre the only one i had at that time. they were the only one i could trust and theyre the only one that i could rely on.

yesterday which was sunday, i went to my grandparents house in tutong. their home is my rehab and the place where i could relax and lie my head down at my grandma's thighs while she plays with my hair. hahaha well, if there is a place where i could think it over and put myself back together from the pieces that ive broken to, my grands' place would be the place.

today is a new day and a new chapter in my life. i know that ive been running through problems and all but now, i could see my friend happy and all. that is enough. even way enough. more better then getting him/her to speak to me back. today, everyone seems to be happy and i want to maintain this settings. now all i could do is repair my friendship with the people that ive been not talking to.

overall i thank my family and friends for helping me make this day become a reality and proves to me that these kind of days would never be a dream to me anymore because it happened to myself today.

a great greet of appreciation to:

my family; my sisters, ajirah and assyura. my aunt, marlina. my grandma and my brothers. i love you guys as my words of love would never be enough to prove my love to you guys.

my friends; my girls, deejah aiman rabi qilah abby eme. fiqah, nad, nisah and the other ladies. and my guy friends, waly and mizan and the other dudes. i love you guys lots and i really mean this

and i would really really really thank my mom for giving me love, courage, support, care and confidence. thanks for telling me that days like of what ive dreamt of would only be happening in my dreams would happen in reality. and making me believe that you can be happy even when youre alone. thanks mommy. i love you and ill always be your jack and will always be like this forever. for you mommy.

thanks for these inspirational, caring, supporting and encouraging peoples, i was able to start a new chapter in my life.